A Still from 2024
A brief moment in time that I thought deserved to exist on here. Wishing a Happy New Year to all. May it be full of creating and loving and good health.
In 2024, I got matching tattoos with strangers in another country. I was drawn to one of these strangers instantly. They had soft, pale skin and harshly cut black and blonde hair. Their nose was angelic and I felt it in my chest when they laughed. How strange, how beautiful that we would forever be connected in such a way as to have the same image permanently etched onto our skin. We went on what I thought to be a date that night. A date in the way that when you’re with another queer person, you aren’t entirely sure if it’s a date until something Concrete happens or you say “Will you go on a date with me?”. We drank beer after beer and they rolled and smoked endless cigarettes. Everyone we talked to was captivated by them, and I couldn’t blame those who were. They had this way about them that I wish I could put to words, but for months have tried and failed. The bar had a dimly lit basement where you could smoke and write on the walls and sit on leather couches covered in graffiti. I was thankful for the fact that it was winter, and none of my bare skin touched the couches that looked to be sticky. We talked and drank and I our thighs touched, and then our hands, and we sat as close together as we could. They told me about their life in Hungary, and we talked about cultural differences and how complicated the Hungarian language is. They had just finished their degree in English- a writer. We had that in common. They were to be studying for a masters in English literature in Norway the following year. Or hoping to be at that point, I don’t quite remember. The bar eventually closed and we eventually walked to the train. As we determined that their train was going the opposite direction as mine, I realized our time was so finite and the chances of me ever seeing this person again were so slim. It took everything in me to turn to them and say, “I really wanted to kiss you tonight.” They averted my gaze and said “oh but don’t you think it would be strange now, you know, that we have matching tattoos?” I agreed and we hugged goodbye. They got on their train and waved as the doors closed. I had that feeling in my chest again, it was not quite pleasure but also not sadness. My train arrived shortly after and I put in my earbuds and forgot to play anything.
